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Because the internet is a treasure trove of questionable innovation.
1. ZenZone: Do Nothing
- Description: An app that offers a safe space to share your experiences, insights, and reflections with like-minded individuals on their spiritual journeys.Android Apps on Google Play
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: Paying to stare at a loading screen.
- Link: ZenZone on Google Play
2. 123 Password
- Description: A Chrome extension that generates a different strong password for each site you visit by mixing your master key and a site key.123-password.en.softonic.com+2Chrome Web Store+2Google Chrome+2
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: Hackers’ favorite tool since 1998.
- Link: 123 Password on Chrome Web Store
3. Reading for Dummies
- Description: An eBook explaining how to process words, including diagrams of eyeballs moving left to right.
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: The irony is thicker than the book.
- Link: Reading Books – Dummies.com
4. 10 Hours of Silence
- Description: A Spotify track with 600,000+ plays. Ideal for people who want to pay for the sound of their existential void.
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: Free alternatives: stare at a wall.
- Link: Link: 10 Hours of Silence on Spotify
5. Ascent Offtime
- Description: An app that blocks social media… unless you pay $7/month. Because self-control should be monetized.
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: The digital equivalent of a diet coach selling candy.
- Link: Ascent: screen time & offtime on Google Play
6. My Pet Rock
- Description: A $1.99 app where you “care” for a pixelated rock. It dies if you neglect it. Humanity’s peak?
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: The 1975 pet rock was already perfect.
- Link: Pet Rock on the App Store
7. Skeddy
- Description: An app that uses AI to nag you with tasks like “breathe” and “panic about existing.”
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: Anxiety shouldn’t require a subscription.
- Link: Skeddy for Drivers on Google Play
8. The Blank Book
- Description: A $12 PDF of empty pages. The description claims it’s “a metaphor for your potential.”
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: It’s a PDF of disappointment.
- Link: Blank Book on Etsy
9. Loading Screen Simulator
- Description: A $2.99 game where you watch a progress bar. Reviews say: “Worth every penny… said no one.”
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: Paying to relive dial-up trauma.
- Link: Loading Screen Simulator on Steam
10. Nothing NFT
- Description: A tokenized JPEG of this headline. Comes with a certificate: “Congrats, you played yourself.”
- Why It Shouldn’t Exist: NFTs are already a punchline.
- Link: Nothing NFT on OpenSea
Final Thoughts
While some of these are painfully real, others are fictional. The digital world thrives on absurdity, and notsoessential.com is here to document it. Remember: Just because you can digitize it, doesn’t mean you should.
Stay skeptical, and may your Wi-Fi always drop during NFT purchases. 😉
